Hemali AdhiyaHave you subscribed to us on Love Smitten yet? If yes, then you’re already prepared for these tips and have probably been waiting for them. (Hint: Subscribe now so you’re with us!” Basically, we’re dedicating a couple of weeks to those who’ve just stepped into a new relationship since we’re in the spirit of celebrating the new year 2022. But are there really things not to do in a new relationship or is that just something people say?
It’s not! A new relationship could easily translate into jitters, sleepiness nights, daydreaming, raced heartbeats and feeling lovely all the time. But, it could also easily translate into fears- of different types, for different reasons. One doesn’t want to mess up in a relationship, and sometimes, a little slip could be a deal-breaker for many. There’s no pressure on being perfect at all times, but there are some behavior patterns that simply don’t work. And that’s when you start wondering about what not to do in a new relationship.
In our previous article, we discussed the 10 Must-Do’s when starting a New Relationship, and it was very well received! But let’s also take a look at what not to do in a new relationship so we can up our relationship and dating game, yeah?
What not to do in a new relationship?
The anxiety of starting a new relationship is top-level. You want it to work without messing it while still being yourself. These 10 tips will take you through the don’ts of a new relationship with details on what not to do in a new relationship. Avoid these!
1. Assuming
You don’t know the person well, because, it is still a new relationship, remember? When you’re still phasing into accepting each other as partners. At such a stage of your relationship, assuming what they’re thinking, what they meant, why they behaved in a certain manner might come in the way of understanding one another. What do you do instead? Talk about it and get things sorted right from the start; stray from assumptions.
2. Making them the center of your life
Our next tip on what not to do in a new relationship is how you shouldn’t make the relation the center of your life. You still have a life, friends, work, and family to live for. When you spend too much meeting, trying, thinking, and making efforts on your new relationship, it would come across as an obsession, and then as desperation.
3. Push them to talk about the future
There’s a time and space for everything. When it comes to developing a new relationship, pushing them to talk about the future is one of the things not to do in a new relationship. It’ll scare the person away. As the relationship develops, you’ll automatically fall into the space of speaking about the future. It’s like cooking food. First, you let the oil heat, then add dry spices, once that crackles you add gravies, and finally the vegetables. Of course, that doesn’t mean you absolutely do not talk about it at all. You can talk about generic things like career goals, life goals, and the like. You only need to not push them to talk about their future with you.
4. Lie- Not the same as secrets
Lying in any relationship, lave alone a new relationship is an absolute no-no. Of course, it’s not the same as secrets. As long as something about your life is profoundly private, even secrets are unnecessary. The point is- lying breaks trust. The judgment is entirely yours, though, about the things you want to open up with, when, and how soon.
5. Overdo- anything!
Yet another thing not to do in a new relationship is overdoing, anything. Starting from texting the person, to calling, expressing, speaking, asking, or anything other of the “ings” that matter to you, don’t overdo any of it. You want to maintain a balance so they don’t feel rushed, afraid, or even annoyed. It’s a new relationship, and you want to keep things calm and steady than loud and overdone. It’s not even how we like our food, right?!
6. Control everything
Not that you do control everything, you probably don’t. But when in a new relationship, don’t try to control anything. Whom they meet, where you go, what you do, when you do- basically, anything underneath the sun. Both of you have your own individual lives to live, and upholding them would be the best way to move forward.
7. Showing-Off
Next on our list of things not to do in a new relationship is showing-off. Whether it is about your personal life, past, finances, choices, lifestyle, and the like. Nobody likes a person like that we’d like people to be modest, so we can fall in love with the person they are within than what they want us to love about them. Right?
8. Changing yourself
You are wonderfully you, aren’t you? Do you really want to shed your fabulous personality and become someone you aren’t? A little while later, you’ll end up feeling frustrated because subconsciously you’ll start missing who you really are. It’s for the best then, that you don’t change yourself when starting a new relationship. Changing yourself is one of the most significant things not to do in a new relationship unless you want things to end badly.
9. Overposting on Social Media
I strongly believe how not everyone wishes well for others and ensure that when I post something on social media, I am pretty confident about it. When a relationship is new and is still in the stage of “figuring things out” and “seeing where things go,” it’s best if you avoid overposting on social media. Take people by surprise when you are entirely sure. In this way, it could avoid awkward questions from people just in case the relationship does not work out.
10. Asking others for advice
Feelings are something that should come to you naturally, and if you feel something, then why ask others if the feelings are real? You can share how things are going with your BFFs or closest people. But asking for too much advice on when you should make moves, how you should respond, how soon or late is something, or if something is okay or not okay are some of the things not to do in a new relationship. Let the relationship flow gracefully and only when you’re sure should you bend towards advice. Conceal your feelings to an extent and see what makes YOU happy!
These are some of the things not to do in a new relationship besides being extremely jealous, insecure, or nervous about where it’s leading. Relax!
Enjoy the new relationship energy, the vibes, the romance, the “can’t keep our hands off each other” phase. We all know that life then becomes routine after a while when the relationship is no longer new (doesn’t mean there’s no love, though). But of course, it’s all very jittery in the beginning, and even thinking about them pumps some adrenalin. Do everything you want to, but for the things not to do in a new relationship from the list above.
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