Shruti MehtaWe all are well acquainted with the concept of a romantic relationship or marriage but have you ever heard about a platonic marriage relationship?
It can be an immensely gratifying experience to be in a relationship where your partner understands and supports you amid all the ups and downs and vice versa. A relationship that is based on love, trust, understanding, care, constant communication, etc. can contribute to the mental as well as the emotional well-being of both individuals. Such a relationship is an absolute boon where both partners take equal and constant efforts to improve things and make them work.
It is but natural to think of the next step which is marriage. While some may welcome this step enthusiastically, others might be a little skeptical of the responsibilities that come attached to the tag of marriage. Many factors influence marriage and physical and sexual intimacy are some of them! Click here to read about other types of intimacy that have a crucial impact on a relationship or marriage.
But what if a marriage lacks romantic feelings and sexual intimacy? Two people who are tied in this sacred union have a vision that they can spend their entire life together but they are just not sexually attracted to each other! Such a marriage is a platonic marriage. You might have caught the gist of what is a platonic marriage but let us gain a deeper insight into the same.
What is a Platonic Marriage?
Have you ever imagined a situation where you fall in love with someone who has had your back in the most adverse situation and has been your companion to share all your joys? But you are not sexually attracted to that person. You both like to hold hands, share hugs, and cuddle with each other but the sexual desire is minimal. Despite these factors, your relationship is flourishing every day and you cannot imagine spending your life with anyone apart from that person.
You both get married and are quite happy yet your chemistry in bed is underwhelming and things have not changed much. But it does not affect you and you both continue to add new experiences to your marriage regularly and enjoy each other’s company to the fullest. Such a marriage can be classified as a platonic marriage.
While romantic relationships and marriage are fuelled by romantic or sexual love, a platonic marriage relationship is governed by spiritual connection or practical love. It is a legal union like most marriages but it is mostly sexless. There might be minimal or absolutely no sexual activity occurring between the spouses. Sometimes the purpose of the sex might be to just conceive and not derive any pleasure from that activity.
It is important to understand that a platonic marriage relationship is not a new concept but people are becoming more vocal about it. In such marriages, the partners are more like best friends than husband and wife. They can share their feelings and emotions, understand, trust, respect, and even love each other but just in a more spiritual way and not in a sexual way. Now you might have some clarity on what is a platonic relationship but let us take a closer look at the signs of a platonic marriage to understand the concept better.
5 Important Signs of a Platonic Marriage
1. No Talk About Sex Life
Constant communication is very essential for a relationship to survive and thrive! Just imagine you and your partner regularly working on your communication skills in order to avoid any misunderstandings and to resolve any arguments or disagreements with ease. But when it comes to communicating about sex life, no efforts are made and you both just do not prefer to talk about it. You both are aware of each other’s likes and dislikes and make attempts to make your partner feel special. But you both have negligible or no knowledge about the preferences of your partner in bed.
This is one of the most prominent signs of a platonic marriage as talking about sex or the activity itself is extremely uncomfortable. In a platonic marriage relationship, sex is not associated with pleasure rather it is attached with discomfort, fear, and other negative emotions. Research shows that couples who talk often about sex are more likely to engage in the activity and derive pleasure from it. Talking about statistics, couples involved in such marriages engage in sexual activities less than 10 times a year!
2. Sex Being Equal To A Punishment
Can you think of the worst punishment a person can get while being in a romantic relationship? Some might answer that it is during those times when they are at loggerheads with their partner and sex goes off the cards while others may stick to those times when either of the partners is too busy to spend some quality time together. This punishment seems momentary for them as they compensate in many ways and having some quality time in bed and making up for the lost time is also one of them! Make-up sex after situations like these is even more enjoyable and intense!
But what happens when someone answers that the worst part about being in a relationship is sex and they despise it, almost viewing it as a punishment? This is because such individuals are involved in a platonic marriage relationship. Some people engaged in a platonic marriage also use it as a means of manipulation and thus their partner starts feeling resentment towards the activity in general, let alone engaging in it.
3. Insecurity And Pornography
Just assume that you or your partner are insecure about certain things in the bed. Under ideal circumstances, you both would be able to talk about it and make each other feel secure. But in a platonic marriage relationship, you will keep dealing with the insecurity and talk about it with your partner as discussions around sex are limited. Insecurity can also become a cause of a platonic marriage. This is because when a person starts feeling insecure, they tend to avoid sexual activities and this might lead to a platonic marriage.
Pornography can also add to the insecurities of an individual. In some cases, it might be a sign of a platonic marriage relationship. This is because the individual is not attracted to their partner and could opt for pornography to settle their desires. In other cases, it might be a cause of a platonic marriage as an individual might frequently consume such content and this might lessen their desire to do any sexual activity with their partner.
4. Special Occasions Only
We all like to do something different when the occasion is special. Imagine making reservations and going to the restaurants when you are in a mood to celebrate or it is a special day for both of you. You can also have a day out or organize a trip for birthdays or promotions. As amazing and adventurous as this sounds, it is not possible to do something like this on a daily basis. Now think of having sexual intimacy only on special occasions. It feels very unusual, right?
But this is very casual in a platonic marriage relationship. This special occasion might also be inclusive of the times when the couple is trying to conceive. They would engage in sexual activities only when it is required and not for their liking per se. This is also facilitated by not talking much about sex life. Thus, the chances of building sexual intimacy get minimal and the activity gets limited to special occasions only.
5. No Privacy
Just fancy that you and your partner are recently blessed with a baby. Embracing parenthood and coping with the changes has been a roller coaster ride, but so far with each other’s support, you both are doing amazing. It has been a couple of weeks since the birth and you both still have not got any chance to rekindle the spark. One of the primary reasons could be a weird time schedule and lack of privacy. If it would have been a normal romantic relationship, both the partners would have managed to get some time out and spend some quality time together in bed and otherwise as well.
But in a platonic marriage, it is very less likely that the partners will take initiatives like this. This can also be because of the fact many couples involved in a platonic marriage relationship engage in sexual activities only on special occasions or to conceive. Lack of privacy is not only a sign of a platonic marriage but also a reason for the same. This is because many couples might have a normal marriage but no privacy might drive them to the bay of a platonic marriage relationship.
With this, we come to the end of our post “What Is A Platonic Marriage? 5 Important Signs!” Psst… but it’s not an end because soon we are coming up with a second part covering other aspects of the same topic. We hope that this post proves to be useful for you. Let us know your thoughts on a platonic marriage relationship in the comments below.
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