Hemali AdhiyaWhy are we in relationships? Why do we need a partner? Why is romance a thing? Why do we encounter heartbreaks? Why do we drift apart? There’s so much to ponder about when it comes to relationships, isn’t there? And yet, despite all the questions, we strike that one bond with someone with who you wish to spend the rest of your life. But is there a guarantee? You found someone to fulfill your needs, but is that in the best interest of the relationship? Enter- the concept of a conscious relationship.
It’s not wrong for you to find someone who can fulfill your needs. In fact, there’s a problem when someone isn’t doing that for you. But you’ll agree that over time, the sense of monotony tends to drift two people apart. Also, there are always these fights and manipulations about getting things our way. But that’s not the case with a conscious relationship.
What is a conscious relationship?
A conscious relationship is more a spiritual concept than a psychological one. Although, people from around the world have welcomed this kind of consciousness into their relationships, and they’re thriving together, personally and professionally.
A conscious relationship is one where both partners are equally invested in each other with a growth or purpose mindset. So, you know how there are always these arguments about what you need, what your love language is, and what offended you? There’s so much difficulty in saying things because you either get misread or misunderstood. That doesn’t happen in a relationship that believes in consciousness.
Such a kind of relationship is very difficult to commit to, in the first place. It simply means deliberately and mindfully entering a relationship where both partners work on clarity of what they want, what they don’t want, how they want it, and how you want to feel about being together. The couples then prepare a structure on how they want to work around these thoughts so that both of them find utmost happiness with themselves and with each other.
There’s this growth mindset that both partners want a conscious relationship built on both their needs, meaning they both want it to work more than anything else. It’s safe to call it the next level of all relationships. It is hard to achieve and it works only for people who prioritize their relationships/marriages with everything else they want to do in life. There’s compassion, honesty, clarity, extreme appreciation for each other, acknowledgment, thankfulness, and respect!
The best part about a conscious relationship? It isn’t ever one-sided! So, imagine finding a partner who’s open to having a conversation about this, and then being mindful about it.
Remember, that couples in conscious relationships aren’t the epitome of all relationships and aren’t perfect. But the difference is they’re more self-aware about what they want for themselves and from their partner. There is wholehearted acceptance of who their partners are, without any attempt to change each other.
It wouldn’t be news if I told you that people in such relationships experience greater joy, peace, and contentment since they’re committed to a goal that finds its space in spirituality.
Top 10 Qualities of a Conscious Relationship
1. Knowing when to walk away
A couple in a conscious relationship understands each other’s triggers and responses. It basically means acting according to their partner’s responses. Sometimes, when hurt or when arguing, we tend to say things that hurt our partner even more. But when people are mindful of triggers and are in complete awareness of the right things to say, they walk away. Not that the topic is left unattended, but they revisit it when things are calmer.
2. Communication is constant, consistent, and compulsory
If I haven’t said it a hundred times already, a relationship cannot survive without communication. Half the battles are over when we communicate our feelings to our partners and vice versa. And my definition of communication is a two-way process when both are invested in the conversation. There is active listening and worthy responses to whatever is communicated.
Couples in conscious relationships are very strict about keeping communication at the top of their relationship. The moment they have anything to share, they find a good time, and the partner is always welcoming of it. They live on the mutual understanding that the communication between them needs to be constant, consistent, and COMPULSORY!
3. Feelings have emotions are valuable
Several relationships encounter trouble when having their partners say, “spare me the drama” kind of sentences when there is a genuine and valid expression of feelings and emotions. But not in a conscious relationship! See, this is the kind of relationship where both partners want to willingly and consciously want this to work in a MUTUAL WAY. It means they do not discount each other’s feelings and emotions. In fact, they find it the most valuable aspect of their relationship.
4. The relationship’s future isn’t worrisome
People who enter conscious relationships do not keep having the “where is this going” talk. The actions, the efforts, the empathy, the feelings, and the actions combined together are enough proof of both partners wanting it to work. So, there’s no pressure on the outcome of the relationship. After having tried everything, if the partners still grow apart in love, then there is a mature and mutual understanding about parting ways. But the days spent together will always remember in the best of the memories than in the closet of pains.
5. Radical Responsibility is the Fashion
When I say “fashion,” I mean it is just the relationship’s style. Whenever there is an argument, a difference of opinion, or even a fight, which of course is in the healthiest ways possible, the solution is always radical. This means that there is never a blame game. If either of the two realizes whose fault it was, they apologize, or they take up equal responsibility for the same. Pretty cool, right?
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6. There is a sense of safety, acceptance, and confidence
The prime focus of a conscious relationship is “growth.” We’ve already established that before. When both romantic partners are invested in such a relationship, there is this unsaid and strong sense of safety, acceptance, and confidence. Why? Because they both want the same thing. This doesn’t mean they aren’t living their individual lives, they are. But when it comes to their relationship, both partners have the same goal!
7. There’s no begging for acknowledgment, presence, or appreciation
Once again, since we’re dissecting what a conscious relationship really is, we keep coming back to how both partners want the same thing. And all this while maintaining their individual personalities. The regular fights to feel present in conversations, acknowledge the presence in each other’s lives, and appreciate the things they do for one another comes without any begging.
It’s like it is a part of their relationship’s routine. There’s a thank you for all the little things, even without asking. There are very few fights about balancing the time between friends, family, and the relationship. Both of them reciprocate equally; the surprises, the understanding, the feelings, they’re both mutual. 🙂
8. “I” and “you” is not a thing; only “we”
One of the most striking qualities of a conscious relationship is how the partners are always thinking about their oneness. That doesn’t mean there’s a lack of self-love or that there is no personal life. There is. It’s just when it comes to taking the big and small decisions in life, they always remember that they are a “we,” not “I” or “you.” That feeling of belongingness that they’re there for each other, be it alone, in front of people, or together, it’s always a WE!
9. There is respect for decisions and choices
While being together gives couples in conscious relationships maximum joy, there is always respect for personal boundaries, decisions, and choices. Neither of the partners feels the need to impose their likes or decisions on each other. There is also no fear or discomfort of being their complete and true selves all the time. While they keep each other’s wishes and likes in mind, they respect their individual decisions and choices too.
10. It is an intentional relationship that empowers each other
And then comes the best part of a conscious relationship, which is empowering each other. There is so much positive talk, that it is far from toxicity. Both of them enter this arrangement or understanding of a conscious relationship so it is filled with the joy of belongingness. With all that positivity, how can two individuals not feel empowered?
The point of this article is to let you know that there are people who prioritize their relationships just as their profession. Two people really need to want to invest in a conscious relationship, intentionally. Of course, it is a difficult commitment to make, but not impossible to achieve. If this is the kind of relationship you want, then find someone similar, who’s as willing to attempt and achieve this level of consciousness.
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