Hemali AdhiyaPeople hardly ever talk about it. Anxiety is a “shhh” word in the lives of many. Anything that relates to our mental health, and people will avoid talking about it like it is a crime. But anxiety is something that isn’t something you should NOT talk about. One such anxiety is post-wedding anxiety. People think it is a myth and just something people make up to show off. It’s really not. Post-wedding blues are real, and hardly anyone talks about them. The feelings are internal, and most often people aren’t comfortable accepting they have post-wedding anxiety.
What is post-wedding anxiety?
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You’ve finally gone beyond all the preparations, cold feet, and went through with the wedding. Now there’s suddenly this vacuum. You feel lost. There are no more decorations or designs to look into anymore. You felt special to be the bride or groom, and now suddenly you’re a husband or wife. People were giving you all the attention in the world and all cameras remained glued to you. It’s all gone. Life has to get back to routine and you have to begin work and settle in together as a married couple.
If you’re agreeing with me, you’re probably undergoing post-wedding anxiety. But here’s what you should already know- it is very much normal! Moving past the D-day to the nothingness of celebrations can lead to these blues. What should you do next? Can you deal with post-wedding anxiety?
Dealing with post-wedding anxiety
Well, yes! You can very much deal with post-wedding blues and that too on your own. You don’t need any external help. At the most, you will need your partner with you. In fact, one of the things you should do is talk to your partner about it. We’ll talk about it ahead.
1. Don’t go on a honeymoon immediately
Let there be something to look forward to about your new relationship, meaning your wedding. Use the time after your wedding to settle down together, to understand each other’s living styles, and also meet close friends. Plan the honeymoon a little later so you can still call it your newly-married activity and it will ensure not ending all wedding-related events one after the other. That’ll help you some bit with your post-wedding anxiety.
2. Pick up new hobbies soon after the wedding
One way to deal with all the emptiness from planning the wedding soon after the marriage is to pick up something new to do soon after the wedding. It could be a fitness regime, an evening jog, a new class, or even something you’ll start together as a couple. It will keep your mind distracted from obsessing about all the things that are over now.
3. Take a few more days off from work
If you go back to work immediately after you get married, you might suffer from post-wedding anxiety. Instead, take a few more days off work or plan your wedding leaves in such a way that you have a few days after the wedding to spend together as a newly married couple. It’ll make you feel warm and special since it is the beginning of something new. Additionally, it’ll also help you settle into something “new” in your life.
4. Plan post-wedding dates
So, what are the things you imagined doing with your husband or wife? Think about them and plan a lot of couple time together. The more you spend time together, the more you get to know each other on a deeper level, as spouses. Not as friends, not as girlfriends or boyfriends, but as spouses. Keep making each other feel special. In India, this isn’t much of a problem because family members make every festival for the first year feel special by saying things like the first Diwali together, the first Holi together, the first new year together, etc.
But if your family lives away, then you can make it all your first!
5. Go on a mini-moon
Someone very close to me is super busy in life. So much, so that there’s not enough time left for a honeymoon due to a certification that has to end in time. But that doesn’t mean the newly-wed couple doesn’t deserve to spend time together as they start their life’s new journey. As a gift, we planned a mini-moon for them, because a weekend off is surely something they can manage at this time. You can do this too. Go on a mini-moon to a place close by until you go on your actual honeymoon to deal with the post-wedding anxiety.
6. Go through your wedding pictures
Go back to those special moments when everything you planned came to life. When you look at your wedding pictures you’ll be able to relive all the joy you felt during and before the wedding. All your blues will vanish in a jiffy, knowing everything you did was indeed for this day- when you could be a married couple!
Once again, post-wedding anxiety is real and normal. People might not talk about it because they might be embarassed to say such things out loud that they’re missing planning and being a part of their wedding. But now you know, that it is all okay and that you can overcome the feelings through simple things.
Enjoy these days. They’re never going to go back. No matter how beautiful a marriage you’re going to have for the rest of your lives, these days of being newly weds is different and special. Live them to your fullest and don’t let the post-wedding anxiety bother you. Relax and spend time doing something you like. Keep your partner a part of your blues. Let them know how you feel, so they can also ensure they make you feel good about being married to them and that what’s coming next is only more beautiful than ever.
If you’re unable to deal with any relationship or marriage problems in your life, and need an expert to help you, book a session with me, an ICF-certified coach here.
You might also be interested in our last read that talks about the striking symptoms of lovesickness. Click here to read.
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