Remember our last posts where we emphasized a platonic marriage relationship and some of its signs? If you missed it, you can click here and get an update on what a platonic marriage is To gain a better insight into what is a platonic marriage, click here and read our previous article. To sum it up, a platonic marriage is a sexless marriage. According to research and some statistics, when a couple engages in sexual activity less than 10 times a year, such a marriage falls under the umbrella of a platonic marriage.
Not talking enough about the sex life, perceiving sex as a punishment, insecurities, lack of privacy, etc. are some of the signs of such a relationship. But merely knowing the signs of a phenomenon is just not enough. To know more about a platonic marriage relationship, it is important to be acquainted with certain facts. Thus, in today’s post, we will highlight how couples choose a platonic marriage instead of divorce, some platonic marriage benefits, how couples live in a platonic marriage, and some adverse effects of the same. Simultaneously, we will also throw light on why marriages turn platonic over the years.
How Couples Live In A Platonic Marriage Relationship?
We have mentioned this in our previous post and we would like to put forth again that such marriages are based on spiritual connection rather than romantic or sexual connection. Platonic marriages happen under three circumstances. First, both of the parties are already aware of the lack of sexual attraction in their bond yet come together in holy matrimony for companionship. Second, it is also possible that either of the partners is not very drawn toward others sexually or might lack a desire for sexual activities.
Despite this, they might tie the knot with the person they love or envision the future either revealing their sexual preferences or concealing the same. Third, the marriage may not be platonic from the beginning but over the span of years, it might turn into a platonic bond owing to many factors like lack of privacy, waning sexual drive, fading interests, the addition of new responsibilities, etc.
Under the first circumstance, the lack of sexual intimacy might not both partners as they are already aware of the dynamics of their bond. Under the second circumstance, it might be an issue if either partner has concealed their lack of desire for sexual activity. If that is not the case and the partner is aware that their sexual needs will not be fulfilled, they might resort to watching porn or even take the path of infidelity.
Under the last circumstance, if the reduction of sex drive is mutual, it might not bother both parties. But if the reduced sex drive is only one-sided, the other partner might do similar things to the previous circumstance or just let things go with the flow. To understand this situation better it is pivotal to reach the crux of why marriages turn platonic over the years.
Why Marriages Turn Platonic Over The Years?
As we specified previously, not all marriages are platonic from the beginning. Some marriages do have the sexual intimacy and spark which is lost over the years owing to several factors. Some of which are:
Pregnancy and Post-partum
A couple might be very thrilled to have a baby and also concerned about parenthood and the responsibilities that accompany it. All these changes might have an adverse effect on the libido of both partners for a span of six to nine months. Also, women going through post-partum depression might lose their sex drives. During the later stages of their recovery, they might get insecure about their bodies which might also have a waning effect on their sex drive.
Responsibilities and Commitments
With the advancing years, a couple might lose the spark both romantically and sexually if they do not put in the constant efforts to retain the same. With the responsibility of kids, work commitment, and lack of prioritization a couple fails to spend quality time with each other which has a negative impact on their sex drive.
This phase in a woman’s life also plays an important role in her marriage turning platonic. During the menopause phase, a woman’s hormones undergo drastic changes and the estrogen and testosterone take a dip which makes it difficult for a woman to become aroused easily. This might lower her sexual desire and even lead to insecurities. But this is subjective and may not be applicable in all cases.
If either or both the partners are regular consumers of alcohol and/or drugs then this might have a negative impact on their libido. Excessive consumption of alcohol or drugs might also cause the partner to turn emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive which might cause their relationship to deteriorate.
Mental Health Conditions
With changing times, a sedentary lifestyle, and a heavy workload, the only constant is stress which is harmful to the health. Excessive stress can have an adverse impact on the mental health of an individual which might cause conditions like depression. All of this will negatively impact the libido of the person thus facilitating a platonic marriage.
Now that we have gained a deeper understanding of why marriages turn platonic over the years, it is also crucial to comprehend why some couples choose a platonic marriage instead of divorce.
Platonic Marriage Instead Of Divorce
Many couples choose conscious uncoupling instead of a divorce. This is like platonic parenting where a couple chooses to remain together just for the sake of their child/children. This is almost like co-parenting with the only difference of both partners stay under the same roof. The couple might share an excellent parenting relationship but it is separate from their individual relationship.
Another very common reason why couples choose a platonic marriage instead of a divorce is to have a companion in old age. The partners become habitual of having each other around over the years and thus it might be difficult to change or get rid of this habit causing them to choose this option. Though the times are changing yet society stigmatizes the people that choose to separate from their spouses. Thus, many people choose such an option to save themselves from the prying eyes of society and save their so-called reputation.
Each coin has two sides and so does a platonic marriage. Thus, to have a better comprehension of platonic marriages, let us take a closer look at the platonic marriage benefits and some of its adverse effects.
Platonic Marriage Benefits
Often in romantic relationships or marriages, a partner tends to get jealous or insecure if a third party interferes with their relationship or tries to get super close with their partner. But in a platonic marriage, jealousy is often at bay because the romantic and sexual intimacy is underwhelming and might not make a partner easily jealous. It is almost like being in a relationship with a very close friend where one can bare their feelings and emotions, co-parent children together, and have a companion for old age. With passing time, the connection gets enhanced instead of the romantic spark being lost.
Platonic marriage is the way to go for asexual, aromantic, pansexual, and some other kinds. This is because both the partners know what they are getting into and they would not have to force themselves to do something that is against their liking or preference. Additionally, the expectations and pressure to look a certain way to appeal to their partner are reduced. Furthermore, the fear that their partner will leave them or break up with them is significantly less. This causes an individual to not add on to their existing stress reasons.
Now that we have an understanding of the benefits of platonic marriage, let us also gain insight into the flip side of the coin which is the disadvantages of a platonic marriage relationship.
Platonic Marriage Disadvantages
A platonic marriage can survive successfully only if both the partners are low on sex drive and they have an acceptance of the lack of sexual intimacy in their relationship. If only one partner does not have the desire to engage in sexual activities very frequently while the other partner’s needs are not met, there might be certain consequences of the same.
Firstly, the partner might resort to watching sexually explicit content. They might even try to be extra flirty outside their relationship and might tread with the boundaries of emotional infidelity. Further, if things get out of hand, they can even cheat their partner which will put their marriage in a delicate position.
Also, a partner might be scared to express their sexual desires out loud fearing that they might hurt their partner. This can have an overall impact on the communication of the relationship. The partner might try to spend long hours at work or socialize with friends in order to avoid confrontation with their partner. This can cause misunderstandings that can be resolved only by open and constant communication.
Summing it up, platonic marriages are not bad or new, they are just different. But now people are opening up about their sexual preferences and thus this topic has come to light and more people are addressing it. If your marriage has turned platonic over the years and you wish to change it, you can opt for couples therapy, sex therapy, or couples coaching. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it! If you feel that things are not working out, it should be your call when to walk away. Do not let societal pressure affect the way you wish to live your life.
Like all things come to an end, our post “Platonic Marriage Relationship: 5 Resourceful Facts” also comes to an end. We hope that both our articles on platonic marriage prove to be useful for you to gain total insight into this phenomenon. Let us know what would you like to read next in the comments below.
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