Oishika GhoshalRelationships are like waves; they have highs and lows, they can be destroying or they can be liberating. They feel like freedom in the air and the world at your fingertips. They are adventures at two in the morning and the comfort that a trustable person brings into your life. Relationships are important because they make you feel alive and like you can take on the world if you just have that one person by your side. Especially new relationships when passion and mystery are still alive! However, if you are looking for ways on how to make a boring relationship fun again, you’ve landed at the right place!
With time, a certain level of comfort descends upon the relationship. It’s the comfort of a known quantity, the comfort of a person who you see every day, whom you know inside out. You get used to everything they do, their hobbies and their lives, and then you kind of fall into a routine. Or, in some cases, a rut. And after a while, doing the same things, talking about the same topics becomes monotonous and leads to a situation which a lot of people refuse to admit – that their relationship has become boring! And for people who do realize it, their main struggle is discovering how to make a boring relationship fun again!
One day, you look at your partner and wonder how you became so distant. Sometimes we get busy, life moves along, we’re going about our day-to-day activities, but we just don’t feel the same spark we once did. What can we do about it? How to make a boring relationship fun again? How can you get back the spark? That’s what we are going to help you discover today!
First, let’s answer the main question – Why do relationships get boring?
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Why do relationships get boring?
Before we get some quick tips on how to make a boring relationship fun again, let us explore why do relationships get boring in the first place. Studies show that boredom is a true relationship issue. Couples don’t break up because of bad stuff…they break up because there’s a lack of good stuff holding them together. When we feel dissatisfied in our relationships, we may start to see attention elsewhere. We’re looking for novelty.
Think back to the days at the beginning of your relationship. Chances are you were feeling high on your partner. You were stimulated by all this new information. You couldn’t wait to know more about this fascinating, attractive, engrossing person you were dating. As the years go by, that newness fades. It’s not because our partner has changed or become less fascinating, attractive, or engrossing. It’s because they’re less new.
There’s less to discover about them. The fun and exciting exploration wanes. It is typical to feel bored in a relationship after a while. But that doesn’t mean you get stuck there! You just try to figure out how to make a boring relationship fun again!
Some reasons why relationships get boring are:
1) You go with the flow – Occasionally when your relationship is still in the honeymoon phase, you tend to agree to disagree and therefore tend to not discuss topics that might be important to you or your partner. Life becomes about agreeing to go to certain restaurants, even when you don’t want to. It is simply because you’re trying to be the “good partner.” And where’s the fun in that? The ‘agree to disagree’ policy may work for a while but very soon it becomes one of the main reasons for communication gaps in relationships.
2) Halting your personal goals – In several relationships, there is a tendency for couples to put their lives and careers on a halt so that they can make more time for their partner. The philosophy of “oh at least I’ll have this person” comes to lay here and that can make life very mundane and monotonous. You do have each other, but, if you are not pushing for the kind of life you want to live together, you will get bored.
3) Getting too comfortable around each other – Don’t get us wrong! Comfort is a key ingredient in any relationship. But, after a certain amount of time, that comfort becomes one of the reasons of boredom in relationships. Allowing yourselves to become too comfy can lead to complacency, and as human beings, we always want to be challenged by new things. We need an environment that is challenging and to a certain degree, out of our comfort zones.
4) Focusing on only one aspect of sex – For many couples, sex is all about getting that orgasm. And that’s great. But when you’re with someone long-term, sex can and should start to be about other things, too. If your sexual activity is fixated and dependent on orgasming, you can expect boredom to take over and this oftentimes causes rifts in a relationship.
5) Spending every waking moment together – Even though you love your partner, and want to spend every day with them, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an effort to peel yourselves apart and spend some time doing your own thing. When you spend the vast majority of the time with one person, it’s easy to get tired of being with them. Pretty soon you run out of things to do which leads to a boring relationship. And in this case, couples often ask ‘how to make a boring relationship fun again?’
6) Failing to be present in the moment – When you’re in a long term relationship because you get used to your partner’s presence, you start taking it for granted. This leads to you forgetting that when you’re with your partner you need to be mindful of them too. And thus, if you cannot connect with your partner, would you want to be with them?
7) Avoiding difficult conversations/arguments – Lots of folks think of arguments as something to be avoided, whenever possible. And it’s certainly true that you want to avoid fighting like cats and dogs. But there’s something healthy and invigorating about the occasional debate, and even the occasional argument. Very often in an attempt to make the relationship ‘good,’ we compromise. We let things go, we ‘ignore’ issues that we believe will lead to clashes. This leads to an emotional conflict in the relationship.
These are a few reasons why your relationship might be boring but worry not! There is always a solution to every problem and we have one here too. How to make a boring relationship fun again is one of the most searched questions for obvious reasons and today we are going to tell you how to make a boring relationship fun again!
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How to make a boring relationship fun again
1) Make Sure You’re Taking Good Care Of Yourself
One of the ways of how to make a boring relationship fun again is to take care of yourself. Being in a relationship means you put your own energy into it and if you don’t take care of yourself, there won’t be much attraction in the relationship. If you take care of yourself and give yourself time to grow, you will bring positive energy into the relationship. It in turn helps in keeping the relationship as exciting as ever. Taking time off for yourself, indulging in hobbies that you like helps keep yourself mentally healthy and you can remove boredom from your relationship.
2) Establish Goals Together
Oftentimes, in a relationship, you tend to keep your passions and goals aside for your partner. You tend to incorporate the success of their goals in your life and this sidetracks your own pursuits. Instead of doing so, one way of how to make a boring relationship fun again would be to establish goals together. This can be as simple as watching a TV series together and debating on it later or something a little bigger like saving up money for a trip together. It only means that you both are working towards one specific goal and the spark can be kept alive.
3) Keep the Element of Surprise Alive
Monotonous relationships mean that after a certain point of time, the element of surprise is eliminated. You start expecting the same things over and over again and this leads to boredom in relationships. Instead of giving in to this system, keeping the element of surprise in your relationship helps in keeping the spark alive.
To spice up your relationship once in a while, keeping a surprise date often goes a long way. Doing something different, fun, or even adventurous helps in bringing you and your partner closer and helps in eliminating boredom from your relationship. Say why don’t you try this tip from our list of how to make a boring relationship fun again, and let us know how it helped?
4) Schedule Activities To Do Together
Another way of how to make a boring relationship fun again could be doing something different together. In relationships, there are some activities that you like more and there might be some which your partner likes more. Instead of going about those individually, you could incorporate them in such a way that both of you can do them together.
It can be as simple as taking a dance class together or going biking or hiking to an unknown location or even trying out a new restaurant. This way you and your partner can bond more and break the monotony that settles over your relationship.
5) Incorporate New Things In The Bedroom
One very potent way of how to make a boring relationship fun again is to incorporate new things into your sex life. After a while, sex becomes typical and you start expecting the same things and that, without question, becomes very boring. Sitting your partner down and chalking out a few things that both of you would like to integrate into your sex life helps in keeping a little surprise and adventure in the bedroom. It enables your relationship to flourish and who knows, maybe you’ll discover something you both love along the way! 😉
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6) The 2/2/2 Rule
One rule that most couples swear for how to make a boring relationship fun again is the 2/2/2 rule. Simply it means that every 2 weeks you go on a date, every two months you go away for the weekend and every two years you go for a week-long vacation with your partner. This is one rule that a lot of couples have said has helped them keep the relationship from turning boring. It gives you something to look forward to and is a very tried-and-tested method of keeping adventure in the relationship.
7) Be Silly Together
When you grow and mature with a person, you tend to lose the silliness and spark that was there at the start of your relationship. Being silly together brings you back to the start of your relationship; it reminds you why you fell for each other in the first place. You can always inject silliness back into your lives by making an effort to do so. If you’re clowning around and trying to make each other smile, you’ll be too busy laughing to be bored.
8) Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone Solo
Couples tend to think of themselves as one unit and while that is sweet and important, settling into the same comfort zone together leads to flatness in the relationship. Thus, one important way of how to make your boring relationship fun again is to step out of your comfort zone – solo! This doesn’t mean you’re any less in love with your partner, it simply means you give yourself time to try something new and exciting by yourself. By challenging yourself, you’ll bring new energy back to your life, which in turn will impact your partner. You’ll have stories to tell, and a new sense of confidence for having overcome a fear.
Isn’t this a helpful tip on how to make a boring relationship fun again?
9) Acknowledge That Boredom In A Relationship Is Natural
Admitting that something is wrong in your life is something all of us struggle with. However, acknowledging that your relationship has become boring goes a long way because this way you know where the problem lies. Thus, you and your partner can work together to get rid of it. If you hit a snooze-y patch, don’t assume you’re heading for a breakup. Try to find new activities that will help you regain your passion in your life. Very soon you’ll notice those sparks fly all over again!
10) Find Fresh Dating Ideas
Don’t get us wrong, the classic “going to the restaurant” date idea still works; except after a while, it just becomes too boring. A classic way of how to make your boring relationship fun again is to find fresh new dating ideas. It can be as simple as taking a cooking class or as drastic as going skydiving together. But this way you find new things to do over and over again.
You discover hidden parts of your partner that you may not have known before and they may feel the same. Remember the first time you met, re-enact your first date, go to places you’ve already been together before! Who knows, maybe you’ll find something new to love about your partner! You will reach such a place in your relationship, that you will never have to pose the question- How to make a boring relationship fun again. Everything will always remain in place!
These are some ways on how to make your boring relationships fun again! Incorporating these in your everyday life is a surefire way to keep the spark and excitement alive in your relationships. They might even help you fall in love with your partner all over again!
Have you tried any of these techniques? Have they worked for you? Or do you have some new things that have helped you keep your relationship exciting? Do you have some tips on how to make a boring relationship fun again? Do let us know in the comments below! If you like this article, surely subscribe to www.lovesmitten.com for more such love doses!
