The butterflies, the first kiss, sense of touch, the shivers, the dates, the rejecting a 100 dresses, the hairstyle that doesn’t look like too much- they’re all the feelings of a new relationship, isn’t it? But don’t we end up avoiding the relationship red flags because everything seems like nothing could get better than this? We do, sometimes! The feelings and the utmost joy that fills our hearts take over our observation skills. Well, we can’t be blamed for that, right? It happens.
That said, it is also necessary we stay alert about things so that we don’t avoid some of the most visible signs. If we avoid these relationship red flags, there is a possibility that the events take a toxic turn in the longer run. Not just will it mark the end of what you have with the person but also leave you with a lot to deal with emotionally or even physically (in extreme cases). Take a look!
Relationship Red Flags 🚩
1. Physical Abuse/ Actions 🚩
Okay, let’s get the most visible signs out of the way, to begin with, the relationship red flags. Once you become comfortable with one another, you might start spending some intimate time in either of your homes or on getaways. See how your partner behaves when something doesn’t happen the way they want or when they are angry. If you see signs like closing their fist tightly, throwing things, or coming too close to you in a way that they’d hit you/slap you/push you. If you do, back off!
2. Emotionally Unavailable 🚩
If we have to date a cold-hearted person, we’d rather date the frozen food in our fridge. That’s harsh, but so is truth, right? To find someone who cocoons at the sign of your emotions is not an ideal partner. When you’re not at the top of your emotions, you need someone who says, “Tell me what’s happening. Even if I can’t fix it, I’ll hold your hand through it.” Not someone who says, “Oh, too bad. Feel better,” or “Hey, that’s okay.” Calling you dramatic or gaslighting your emotions is toxic. Emotional unavailability is an absolute no-no.
3. Over Possessive 🚩
We all blush with possessiveness. Let’s face it, it does make us feel special because it means we’re important enough for our partners. But I also strongly believe that everything’s good as long as it’s not extreme. An extremity in anything is not healthy. If your partner is someone who doesn’t allow you to see anyone else, wants to hang out with you all the time, even if you’re with your set of friends, or is upset when your phone is busy on another line or if you’re not responding immediately. Such people might also want to check your phone. Guys, this is among the most annoying relationship red flags!
4. Love Bombing 🚩
Too much too soon is also not okay. Love Bombing means either of the partners getting too involved or invested in the relationship at a rate that’s faster than the others. Here’s how you identify this trait- talking about the future way too soon, making plans that you would normally make a few months into the relationship, taking too much interest in your life, trying to get to know you too soon, jumping a few dating steps, and the like. That’s not all, such people also tend to get bored much sooner, and they’ll leave you in a vacuum with no one to say those sweet-nothings to you plus a crushed heart. Are you feeling too rushed? Relationship red flags alert!
5. Narcissism 🚩
Let’s get one thing straight- I am one of the biggest cheerleaders of self-love and so is everybody else at Love Smitten! But self-love is not the same as self-obsession or narcissism. Such a person will make constant subconscious attempts at making you feel lesser. Their lack of empathy, extreme sense of self, superiority over all other ideas and emotions, and all such other traits that make you feel inferior are all relationship red flags. Either express it right at the beginning or walk away because it is one of the many relationship red flags!
6. An addict- of any kind!🚩
It’s not news that addiction isn’t good for any of us. Addiction also means an extreme in something and I’m not going to advocate it in any manner. When I say addiction, I mean all kinds of it. Alcohol, social media, substance, games, just about anything! Not just does it impact their health and your relationship but also calls for imbalance in life- emotionally, physically, and spiritually. To be in a happy and healthy relationship means being in love with someone who understands the word “balance” and can implement it too. Addiction is one of the most dangerous relationship red flags.
7. Too Controlling to Handle 🚩
A relationship means freedom. And if you’re not getting to experience that, then it’s not worth it. You need to be with someone who allows you to be you and vice versa. Why control someone? Why make them how you want them to be than accepting them for who they are? Why be so self-centered that they can’t see what their partner wants? Don’t these all seem like relationship red flags to you? They do because they are! A partnership means where both parties enjoy their time and get to do what they want to. Things should not move only according to one person.
8. Commitment Phobic
We all want to be with someone only when we know that it’s going somewhere unless both of you are on the same page about it not being a serious relationship. But if one of you is someone who’s looking forward to a future together while the other is not, it’s like walking straight into heartbreak. It’s one of those relationship red flags that needs no explanation. If they’re commitment-phobic, they’ll give you a hard time with everything. You’ll struggle with the most basics of a relationship like wanting to spend time, wanting them to be there for you, asking them to call you their girlfriend, sharing feelings, staying in touch, and other such simple aspects of a relationship.
If you notice any of these relationship red flags, the first thing you do is accept it than give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re human. Remember, you are too! A once in a while situation is different from a persistent behavior, and you as a person shouldn’t tolerate something that makes you so uncomfortable that you start changing yourself or living in any fear. Try talking to your partner about it at a good time and see how they respond. If they accept and are willing to make a change, it’s worth the chance. But if they don’t wish to accept or change then you need to change your relationship status.
You cannot make people do what they don’t want to do it. Why put yourself through that when you can walk away with lesser damage to your heart? There IS somebody out there who’s going to love you with all the green flags they have to offer and you’ll respond to them just the same. Walking away from these relationship red flags means you love yourself enough to protect yourself and that you hold up to your self-respect.
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