Hemali AdhiyaThe term #relationshipgoals is attracting couples around the world. Although relationship goals are beyond just a hashtag. If couples in relationships and marriages take this up seriously, they could benefit from being together in more than ways. Much like setting goals for all other areas of our lives, these goals are similar, only the agenda of these goals is above and beyond everything else you’ve achieved before in life.
Relationship goals mean finding a common agenda that you want to achieve as a couple, and then acting or behaving in a manner that brings the two of you together and closer to achieving these goals. The entire process of working on finding common goals for the relationship, the behaving part, and the achieving part forms what we call a “deep connection.” Isn’t that why we become a part of relationships?
Posting pictures with a # and calling them goals is only a rosy picture. The reality remains behind the mobile screens. But those who prioritize their relationships would want to achieve a deep connection and be relationship goals in the truest sense, should take this up together, as a couple. Stronger together, right?
Ultimate Relationship Goals
Before heading forward with my ultimate relationship goals list, I’d like to point out that the goals you set should be tailored to the needs of your relationship. So, feel free to draw ideas from this list and customize them that suit your needs.
1. Create a Couple’s Journal
Divide the book into three, write both your needs into one of these sections each, and then list your common goals in the last section. For those goals that don’t match, find a mutual way, and add that to the list too. Revisit this journal every time you feel weak in love.
Who is this for: EVERY COUPLE!
2. Share roles, duties, and responsibilities
It should be a common relationship goal to share all the roles, duties, and responsibilities. Now, this could include anything and everything. For example, if one of you enjoys cooking, the other can handle the grocery shopping. From household chores to responsibilities towards each other likes, dislikes, families, or anything else, share it. Feel like equals and take it up seriously.
Who is this for: For couples who often fight about lesser contribution to roles, duties, and responsibilities towards the house or relationship/marriage.
3. Pray for each other every day
If you are spiritual and believe in prayers, then make it a habit to pray for each other every day. When you start praying for one another, you feel connected on a deeper level. Spirituality has a different sense of connection altogether. So, if you believe in the power of prayers, start doing this now! It will only make you feel more in love.
Who is this for: For those couples who believe in spirituality and in the power of the universe.
4. Dedicate time every day for bonding
During this bonding time, ensure you are free from all distractions and actual mean the time you’re spending. Don’t do things that feel forced. But no phones, no laptops, and no TV. Stray from the digital screens and do something else. Lay together and talk, play a board game, take a walk, dance it out, or even work out.
Who is this for: EVERY COUPLE
5. Be kind in your communication
When you want to express something or vice versa, respond and react with kindness. Don’t respond with anger or tones. It causes fear in your partner’s mind that there is no freedom to speak up in the relationship, and it will eventually lead to suffocation and outbursts. Make this one of your relationship goals, so communication can be more smooth-sailing.
Who is this for: This relationship goal is for couples who struggle with expressing and communicating with each other. If you feel like your partner/spouse overreacts when you share something, scream, or creates a drama than listening with peace and responding after introspecting.
6. Practice and Execute the power of Forgiveness
We’re all humans, and end up making mistakes or hurting others every once in a while. Although, it isn’t intentional. So, there’s no blaming there. But forgiving for these little things and not holding on to the bitterness is most important. Never bring them up again in future arguments either.
Who is this for: For couples who drag issues and feel restless for long after a fight.
7. Don’t refrain from asking forgiveness
There’s a possibility you cannot see your fault when angry or in a fight. So an immediate apology might be difficult to offer. But when the air is cooler and you feel calmer, or have spent some hours apart, wouldn’t it be nice to offer or receive an apology? It’s just the right thing to do. Keep egos away. If you’re both not at fault, then you can both apologize. If not, whoever is at fault should. Include this as one of your other relationship goals so there are no regular fights about who should apologize and who shouldn’t.
Who is this for: For couples who don’t believe in apologizing and want things to become normal when they feel normal. But the partner might expect closure in the form of an apology to feel better.
8. Plan regular outings
Date nights should be a part of your routine, no matter how many years you’ve been together or married. Plan regular outings so you can step out of your routine surroundings and get a break from the things you do every day. Be it movies, dinners, picnics, or just a long drive, you should break free from the routine and spend time with each other.
Who is this for: EVERY COUPLE!
9. Don’t let social media pressure you
Social media is very misleading. Those couples who use the hashtag relationship goals are not your inspiration. It’s like I said, you don’t know what they’re going through in their real lives, and it could all be just about a good picture or a day of fun. The real relationship goals lie within you and your relationship.
Who is this for: This is one of those relationship goals for couples who compare their relationship with other couples on social media.
10. Treat the relationship like a partnership; not a competition
Those couples who always think about beating each other at doing things better don’t have a healthy partnership. When you think or do things, ensure you’re thinking “we” and not just “I” or “you.” When either of you says something, don’t immediately react with, “You did the same when…” It’s not a competition. Focus on growing together like in a conscious relationship. Make sure to practice this among the many other relationship goals diligently.
Who is this for: For couples who play the blame game, push their faults on their partner, and try to prove they are better than their partner.
11. Be each other’s cheerleaders
Adding this to your list of relationship goals makes you feel so much more positive as a couple, you have no idea. Be each other’s cheerleaders like you make each other proud. Support what each other does, avoid taunting professional work, be patient when either of you is late at work, share each other’s achievements with people, and speak positively about each other in front of others.
Who is this for- If you feel like your relationship is struggling with appreciating each other’s work, then you should surely add this to your list.
12. Keep your physical life active
Physical life doesn’t just mean sex. But keeping the intimacy alive by holding hands, hugs, and looking into each other’s eyes will be really helpful for you both in the longer run. When you feel like either of you is pulling away or is becoming disinterested or farther in touch, you can communicate ways to talk how you miss the touch and work on this goal.
Who is this for- For couples struggling with physical intimacy, this is one of the must-add relationship goals to your journal.
13. Promise to do new things together
Breaking the pressure of monotony lies in your hands. Put it up as one of your relationship goals to do new things together. It could be anything, something from your bucket list, a double date, a picnic, or simply anything you’ll haven’t done before.
Who is this for: For couples who don’t enjoy a monotonous routine.
14. Understand each other’s love languages
Fights become inevitable when you don’t understand each other’s love languages. Someone wants to be hugged when they’re angry, and some simply want to be left alone. Strike a balance. Leave them alone for a little while, but then they should also come back and hug you when calmer. Similarly, adjust all likes and dislikes according to each other’s love languages.
Who is this for: For couples who often fight about not understanding each other.
15. Never sleep angry
There’s no fight you cannot resolve. But the resolution doesn’t come from one person alone. Both of you need to work on this relationship goal together. When either of you comes forward to resolve the fight, the other should take the responsibility to respond. That’s how communication happens, one speaks, the other listens, and then responds rather than reacting. If the issue is too big, then at least hug each other good night, and promise to overcome it together.
Who is this for: For couples who often complain about feeling angry and waking up with negative emotions the next day.
Some points to remember:
- Setting relationship goals is easier than implementing them. The effort that goes into it needs to be from both partners. One person alone cannot win a joint commitment. You agree, right?
- Once you enlist these relationship goals in your journal, talk about how you want to achieve them together.
- Under each goal, write the steps each of you will take to ensure sticking to the goal.
- Promise that you will not be angry with each other if you remind your partner of sticking to the duties towards the goal when you fail to do so.
- Also, promise that you will not use these relationship goals to benefit it in any other way than aiming for mutual happiness and deeper connection.
For more help on setting relationship goals, seek help from a professional relationship coach. You can also book a session with me, an ICF-certified coach, who can help you overcome any of these relationship problems, and I will help you through these goals, step-by-step. To book your session, click here.
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