Hemali AdhiyaA relationship is a beautiful bond that we all get to experience. Nowadays, every teenage girl or boy begins to revels in the joys of relationships with friends, best friends, girlfriends/boyfriends. Eventually, there is a stage where we take a step ahead, fall, and learn from our mistakes- they’re relationship mistakes. But that’s not a problem as long as we’re willing to accept our fault and fix our mistakes. We just need to figure out our mistakes, learn from them and maintain healthy relationships.
Many think relationships are just about love. No, they’re not. It’s about how we maintain and manage our relationships. If we fail to manage or take care of them owing to our relationship mistakes, we could end up losing our people forever. We have seen that in the early stages of a relationship there is joy, flirtation, or date nights. But as time passes, there’s mere anxiety with relationship mistakes that both of us commit.
Love is not about finding someone to live with; it’s finding someone you can’t live without. Waiting for your lover, for the person who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who sees best in you, waiting for a person who wants to show you off to the world and is proud of you, because that’s where we belong- that’s..love!
Of course, every relationship suffers from ups and downs, and our relationship mistakes account for the downs. The key to maintaining a relationship is to not repeat those mistakes and rather bond more. But what if there is a way to avoid such common relationship mistakes to save the drama? Here are 10 relationship mistakes that you should never make.
10 Relationship Mistakes You Should Never Make
1. Expecting too much
The first and most common of the relationship mistakes many people make is expecting too much. Is it normal for us to expect things from others? Why do we expect others to be our way and most importantly are we ready to be their way?
We want everyone to be like us, eat like us, think like us, behave like us. What would the world be like if everyone were the same? If a person doesn’t meet our expectations, at the end of the day, we end up asking, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” In a relationship, most conflicts are about who is right and who is wrong. Maturity is when we agree that sometimes, nobody is right and nobody is wrong. When we fail to see that, we’re giving way for disrespect, which is one of the biggest relationship mistakes we could make.
Expecting from others means identifying flaws and errors in the person we love than accepting them for who they are. Stop expecting lest we end up hurting ourselves. It will destroy us and even our relationships in the end.
2. Controlling the person
Why can something that makes us feel so good also make us feel so trapped? Don’t we all enjoy a person who asks us to be safe and stay in touch when we’re out than getting mad at us going out? Remember it’s a partnership, not ownership. It’s hard to tell them at first because it feels like love. It’s the stage when everything makes us feel special. But we ultimately realize that their obsession is toxic. It’s based on insecurities and eagerness. Don’t control or let them control us.
Love does not equal control. Love is genuinely giving yourself to someone else. The behavior of ownership and control can take so many different forms. It’s important to observe the way to be sure of these two signs- One, it’s pulling you away from anyone and everything you are close to. And second, it’s making it seem like you are the only person in your life.
These are signs of relationship mistakes that people often make.
3. Bye-bye Romance
Two people mean two brains and two bodies can do better than one, in many ways; two people can do better than one person. Romance is an essential element in every relationship. The truly romantic things in life are those little things we do every day to show you care, love, and that we are thinking of them.
It’s the way we make them happy in our own special ways. The way we hold their hands when they are scared or upset or the way they just save the last piece of cake, the random “I LOVE YOU” or “I MISS YOU” texts in the middle of the day, dedicating their favorite song on the radio on a hard day, they’re all ways to keep the romance alive.
Lay in the bed and talk about life. Go for a walk around the town hand-in-hand. Give each other a hair massage. Have lots of foreplay before you go to bed. Surprise each other with a night at a beach. Dance in the rain. Feels special, doesn’t it? These are beautiful things that will keep our relationships smooth, pure, and transparent.
Letting go of the romance is one of the most crucial relationship mistakes one can make because it could lead to our partners not feeling special anymore!
4. Forgetting to Appreciate
Focus on the little things. A deep human need is to be seen and heard for who they really are. There’s something about being fully seen that makes us feel entirely loved. Gifting our partners with noticing their little things like their new haircut, a new style, the extra note in the tiffin, the extra effort when sick, their sacrifices, etc. will take the relationship to the next level. These are the things you want to take note of and compliment them. It means appreciating our partner’s presence and love language in our lives. Random acts of appreciation let our partners know that we are thinking of them throughout the day.
They put all their efforts to love and take care of us and a small appreciation by saying “YOU ARE PERFECT ” is not less than a victory for them. Generally, people do make these relationship mistakes of taking their partners for granted. A while later, things get heated up and the relationship might not feel much special.
5. Carrying forward fights to the next day
Conflicts are inevitable in every relationship. They have the power to ruin everything we have built over the years. While they are something one cannot do away with, resolving them is always in our hands. We brood the entire day, thinking about the things our partner said and the things we couldn’t say. It happens to all of us.
What we shouldn’t do is carrying forward the fight to the next day. After a day of fights and arguments, it is best if it’s resolved before sleeping. When we fail to do that, it takes control of our minds and thoughts, gradually kicking out positivity. We end up sleeping with negative thoughts. Hug your partner, and talk about it. Find a mutual way and it will positively create magic in your soul. These relationship mistakes are common, but also easily fixable.
6. Lack of Trust
We live in a world where technology and social media are at a boom. People misunderstand trust as something that they can build only if their partners do everything in their way. Is that possible? Not really, no. So, what do such people do? They withdraw their trust, love, and respect. Checking on them, their phones, tracking them, etc. are some actions of lack of trust, which is one of the grandest of all relationship mistakes.
If they’re doing something wrong, then remember, Karma comes back! But by emotionally investing in tracking someone is a waste of time and life. If there’s difficulty in trusting a partner because of something they’ve done in the past, find a mutual way to fix it, visit a couple’s therapist, or confront.
Ultimately, if you’re still not able to trust the person, end the relationship that damaging yourself. Lack of trust spreads a lot of negativity. Intuitions are not always right, so there’s a possibility there’s no problem in the partner, but just in us.
7. Comparing your relationship with others
T. Roosevelt once said,” Comparison is the thief of Joy.” Often we look at other couples in our neighborhood or friends and try filling the vacuum in our minds. Nowadays even social media posts make us feel like there’s something missing. But remember social media isn’t a realistic representation of other relationships. We only see the highlights of a couple’s life, not their day-to-day grind, And we assume that they are always happy and never argue. Our relationship always looks messy when compared to fictional videos and photos.
Every relationship has its ups and downs and it might be true that another couple is doing well in their relationship and we are not. But that’s only temporary, right? It’s very rare that we ever see the whole picture. We barely get a snapshot of other relationships; so, let go of comparisons. If you want to compare it, compare it with good ones.
Invest the best into your relationship. Start from where you are, grow and build from there. Leave the comparison out of the equation. God has a specific plan for us and we won’t accomplish that plan by comparing others. Going against it is one of those relationship mistakes that could lead to self-pity and depression.
8. Assuming your partner understands everything
We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything when we have limited information. The problem with making assumptions is that we have no reason to believe that our own assumptions are far from the truth. We make our imagination run wild, which will eventually bite us where it hurts the most. Making assumptions in our relationship is really like inviting trouble. We assume that our partner knows us very well and we know our partner very well because we are soulmates. We are supposed to know each other without saying anything. But what if they don’t know about us that way or aren’t as observant?
The only way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions and gather information. If we don’t understand, then ask, have the courage to ask questions until we are as clear as we can be, and even then don’t assume that we know everything. Asking and clearing doubts are better than creating assumptions. It is a habit to evade one of the many relationship mistakes.
9. Taking each other for granted
We don’t realize a person’s value until we lose them. Many relationships break down because we take the other person for granted. How many people feel that the other is taking us for granted and we will behave worse with them instead of responding peacefully? Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work, that we forget to value the person whom we love.
Whatever is taken for granted will eventually be taken away. And that will end up missing them more because we will never know the last time will be the last time. We think we have more time but I think we now live in an era where we know better than that! Losing focus from the one we love is one of the most common relationship mistakes, but also an avoidable one!
10. Judging your partner
When two people go for the same experience, why do we assume that they are going through the exact same thing? Remember to put yourself in someone’s place before judging them. Don’t judge your partner without fully understanding them lest you fall into the traps of yet another of the many relationship mistakes. Just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean that we know how it feels. It’s very difficult to judge a situation we have never experienced. We can’t judge them for their choices because when we do, we block ourselves from learning, from growth. We have to recognize that our partner has a different upbringing, parenting, or experiences.
These are some common relationship mistakes we all make and it’s okay. People make mistakes in love relationships, especially in their youth. What is beautiful about life is- It allows us to correct those mistakes. Behind the pencil, there is a rubber. Why? Because mistakes can be erased. We can correct some of our mistakes. Those that we cannot always give us another opportunity to make our relationship mistakes right. And that’s why we say- making a mistake is a part of our nature; Acceptance of mistakes shows our culture.
There is always one stupid mistake that changes everything. But we if learn from it, it changes lives. Making relationship mistakes is sometimes ok until you and your partner are willing to stay with each other. No one is perfect in this world, and so relationship mistakes are also sometimes unintentional. But with love being the priority, everything else ultimately falls into place.
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